Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
