I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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