four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
