I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
