You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
