This is not my ceiling
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize