Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ugly people sure do ruin things
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
