God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
