Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
