there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize