Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize