My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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