She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
