u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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