can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
