Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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