Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
