He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
