Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
