why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
