I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
