Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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