just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize