I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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