The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize