I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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