so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
