yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize