is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
