Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
