we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize