is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They have beer where we have blood.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
