you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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