it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
