so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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