fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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