So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
