So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
