i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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