I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
