She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
