You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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