Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i think i have two assholes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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