CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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