Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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