Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
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It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
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Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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