she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
They took my balls.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
