saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
