worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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