On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
