party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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