I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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