i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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