Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
