you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Holy shit dude........stairs
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